He was born September 2 of last year and I was lucky enough to be able to spend all this time with him. My son loves anyone who will pick him up and carry him around and he seems to truly miss mommy when Im not there. I think for young babies, being reminded of the other parent can be too painful to endure. I nursed him up until a month ago. (It has absolutely NOTHING to do with how much you love your daughter; that was an insensitive and completely incorrect comment by your dad!). I guess I just dont want this type of behavior to flow into other areas of her life. And like all husbands out there, mine too, asks me not to take it personally. Im a very good mom, so why doesnt she see that? Yesterday, Xmas day, he passed the whole day following her everywhere! Sometimes I just want to give up and let her be. oh, my daughter is almost 7 months. I have an 8-month-old little girl and she does the same thing to me! I am not defending what the babys mom did. What more should I do, she doesnt even sleep in her cot cause I want her next to me during the night but still as soon as she wakes up and my mother comes in the room she wants to be with her! i am a younger mother who still lives with my mother. He fights me on everything. Try and make him happy. XOXO, Paula. I get up with him in the middle of the night when Im so tired I could die. Weekends too. My daughter is my first child and I have waited a long time to have her. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. Mostly because he or she is a baby who really has no idea what "work" is, but also because you're a good mom who loves her baby no matter what. I have a 9-month-old baby, who doesnt seem to want me anymore. Im in a bit of a no win situation here, I am expecting my first child with my partner, he has a daughter by a previous marriage , my job requires me to work out of the country for 4 weeks then I get 4 weeks off at home and so on. Take your baby for a casual walk. My daughter is 15months old. But those 6 weeks were rough for everyone involved, and baby's gotta eat! I dont know what to do, I have to work to support her, and I want that bond. I feel like she doesnt need me at all, she doesnt care if i am around or not, when her dad comes to see her she gets happy and he only comes once a week and sometimes he wont come for 2 weeks!!! I have 11 month old baby and until 3 weeks ago I was 24 hours with him. By Alice Gibbs On 6/23/22 at 12:17 PM EDT. :**(, Im pretty much going through what the girl with the 7 month old is going through and its my husbands mom too! So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. our babies love us. You ask about the girl not wanting to talk to mom on the phone. Or maybe you will visit your baby at their child care provider during your lunch break and breastfeed. 5 points to consider when deciding whether returning to work after maternity leave is right for you: 1. :) :) :). (And by all means, get the same kind of time alone with your three year old too!). Its easy to be an outsider giving advice, but take it from someone who felt similarly rejected by her own child, I really urge you to consider seeking help and support from a source not on the inside of your situation. But again, to keep you in their minds even when youre not there, both recordings and video conversations might be good. Unfortunately, I am a working mom (my husband works too). Much more effective than disciplining a child. It sounds to me as if you really want the best for your son, but that you are to some extent in a vicious circle. Hi, The only way I will not have any regrets is to keep inserting myself into my daughters life and routine continue to play, love, cuddle, feed, bathe, read to and hug her every chance I get. By preparing during maternity leave, you can feel more empowered in your choice and ensure a smooth transition for you and your baby. She preferred me up until recently. A few months ago my fiance lost her job and is at home 24/7. house jobs near tampines; lego art beatles soundtrack; between the lions cliffhanger; professional football academy near mysuru, karnataka; Do whatever it takes to push her to her place. But it seems she does. He goes to grandma no matter what but me no its very hard not to get upset but I cant even write a sentence without crying now. We are all in the same boat, and seems what I thought was my bad parenting somehow. So a temporary solution is essential. Babies can feel our tension. If i let her have her way, ill never get to be with her because she never wants me. When I first read about it, I thought it sounded crazy just 15 minutes! Pump or hand express your milk. I then take her home and just when she starts to be happy with me, my husband comes home and I am nothing. But 3 weeks ago I got hospitalized. I know that very well! And I swear to g-d it feels like hes being a jerk on purpose sometimes. i feel that i been such a great mommy for him soo loving and careing his my everything but he started acting weird like a week ago it seems that he prefers his daddy more than me he works full time. Not that I know who to be cross with anyway.Ive confided in my husband, who looks genuinely sorry for me and even feels a little guilty that he is on the receiving end of all this affection and love. When she comes home from nursery its a whole lot worse, I think its because she has been with other women who are completely fun all of the time. It is an intensive period. And I suspect it isnt helping your wife either. This baffles me. Goodness! Please help me to know what is the problem? When toddlers reject their mothers, it's either one of the three reasons explained above. Mom is getting really depressed with this and is the reason for many of the heated arguments between us. Please help me out of this. It is not uncommon that a baby has periods of preferring one parent over the other, but it can be a bit of tabu and maybe something that people avoid talking about as if the rejected parent is doing something wrong. I feel left out. Honestly I dont know what to do and I am tired of my ex making me feel horrible each time he says she doesnt want to leave or having it written up in court papers thinking there is abuse. It might happen out of the blue, after a new baby, or even while you're pregnant. Here is the background: Ive been dating my boyfriend for over a year but knew him and his daughter since she was 8 months. But I dont get a look in. Hi i have been a stay at home mom since my 3 year old was born, but now my 17 month old son seems to not want me or love me. Try movement like rocking 4. Please think long and hard before you do so, and before you delude yourself into thinking that leaving the baby with someone other than you for extended periods is no big deal. Since you are at home, you have a lot of chances. We share all parenting tasks equally, so it isnt as if he spends more time with her, though he was with her for a few months before he went to daycare (3-6 months). Please take care. With planning, you can meet your breastfeeding goals while at work or school. My partner thinks Im being ridiculous, but thats easy for the preferred parent to think, Im sure. Please help! But the best thing you can do is to NOT take it personal. It is not your fault that the first few months were very tough. My 9-mth old baby boy is doing the same to me too. Most times I doubt she even knows that I am her mother. My gal is nw 8 1/2 mths . Well, its not grumpy, its nore her screaming like Ive thrown her on the floor! Or has anyone here experienced their toddler crying when they hear the parents voice on the phone and they are fine once they see them? should i stop my caregiver from sleeping next to her to maybe stop them from being too close? Your baby is enjoying the world around him and right now grandma is great fun. You might feel really, really sad about going back to work, but you might also feel really excited. My relationship with my son isnt the same anymore. It only means that she prefers her dad right now. then you can start looking and working forward instead of looking back. And my dad is simply crazy about her. there were times that she slept with my caretaker before i got home to take her to our room could it be this? Actually, I wouldnt be surprised if your mother is right. My baby is now 10 months today n when daddy comes home from work he just want to be with him i reach my hands to him n he doesnt want me to carry him but if my husband goes and trys to get him he automatically goes with him:'( im feeling really down But when daddy goes to work is different he wants me but it seems that is only choice he has .. Daddy is a play toy and thinks he comes and goes and is fun, but deep down I know she loves me and cant live without me. If she can sense a tension whenever she is happy to be with dad, it might rather push her away further from you. I think children, at least those without attachment disorders (could this be a possibility with your daughter, I cant recall if you wrote that your little girl IS attached to her dad and just not to you? To be able to detach from your natural reactions to being rejected is not easy. Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? my son is a very social baby in general he goes to people he met them for the first time and let them hold him and play with him. Your daughter is going through her first life crisis adapting to the new situation. The rational part of me says that this makes sense because he is with daddy more than me at the moment. At first I thought I was imagining it, but after doing a few experiments I had to admit that he really didnt want to be around me. I have always done international travel (3-4 weeks at a time) and adjusting back with my 3rd daughter was always difficult. If Im the only one home she wants me, but if dads home, its mommy who? This really hurts my feelings since I do everything for her, I want to hold her and play with her so bad but so often she rejects me. My husband and mother care for him while Im gone (Mon-Fri 12-7pm). A more upright position makes it easier for the milk to go "down the hatch.". Here's what we tried, and what finally worked! I dont know if maybe he was picking up on my dark mood, my insecurities? I am so happy that my two main men have such a great relationship, but I want to share in it too! You can also make sure your baby finishes one breast before . Unrequited love hey. That does NOT mean that the baby doesnt love dad (or mom in your case), but simply that she is a developmental stage where she mainly can handle showing love to one person at the time. I wake him up with a bottle in the morning and put him to bed with a massage and kisses and rocking at night. Yeah, as you can see, it is common! Peek-a-boo. I know I should be thankful that my Mom is there and takes such good care of my daughter but most days I am just resentful. Its just that when my husband and i decided to start trying for another baby i quickly had changed my mind and decided i wasnt ready yet and that i was content with it just being me, my husband, and our first son, but it was too late and when i decided to not try anymore i already conceived. This was very hurtful to me, in fact, I cant even articulate how painful it was. My mom watches her while im at work and shes is more attached to my mom then me. Maybe worth trying for you too? I felt like a true bond wasnt there. Does anyone have any success stories in terms of their baby eventually being more bonded to them? It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? Ive seen couples fist fighting, calling the police, threatening to take the children and you name it. Bonding can start at any time, even at 15 months old, even though it can take a bit longer to establish at that point. Other babies become extremely attached to that person any time she or he is around. Everyone eeps telling me that he loves me and he did miss me but it doesnt feel like it. for example, is perfect for a baby with separation anxiety. It's never easy dealing with a toddler rejecting mom. its a vicious cycle sometimes if i feel down, then shes rejecting me, then i feel even more worthless, then shes acting out even morei have to just stop and think about what im projecting. Try feeding with cool or alternatively warmed milk. Im a stay at home mom and spend pretty much all my time with her. What happened? You may express breast milk so that others can feed your baby. Nursing strikes can be frightening and upsetting to both you and your baby, but they are almost always temporary. except some weekends I have to work away from home (Overnight). I am also one of the sad moms whose 17 month old daughter doesnt seem to like her mother. I am a dad in the same boat. After all, during their first twelve months babies still physically need mother's milk. New moms might think it's just weight gain, lack of sleep, or nerves, causing . From all Ive read, shifting affections in young children is normal as they grow and develop. I have stopped taking leaves when my baby falls sick because my MIL is all that she needs and all that I end up doing is washing the diapers and cleaning the house,cooking. Please dont give up on your babies. I was nothing more than a pain in the ass to her. my love for her isnt based on her feelings for meeven though reciprocation would be nice. But in your case, I would say that this is not a relevant worry! I just googled and found this website.. and saw I was not alone. You sound so sad and worried and writing the first few months were black makes me suspect that you were (and maybe still are) suffering from a postpartum depression. you cant help it. please help me ,because i feel that my son hates me and that destroy me . It breaks my heart Ive cried many times!! She is in love, so to say, and wants to be with you all the time. Must be very painful for the mother. It really hurts. and youre doing the right thing. I try to fix this by not responding to the kid and shouting at her and show her that I am bad. Honestly, I feel like there must be something inherently wrong with me for my own (9 month) baby not to love me as much as my partner. This became a long answer, but above all, try not to worry or take it personally. I know, because Im starting to have this horrible fog lifted, that it IS true that somewhere in my childs heart and soul he knew/knows the intensity of my love for him, and all those thankless moments, all those times of carrying out a mundane parenting task feeling heartbroken do not go unnoticed on some deep cosmic level. Tonight is especially bad, he pushed me aside to get to my mom. Try to not show any hurt feelings if she goes to her grandma; she obviously isnt doing it to hurt you and may become quite confused if she can sense your irritation when it happens. Paula, Stay At Home Mom Rejected By Baby I do everything my mother does yet apparently I dont love her enough!! Let's look at why a baby rejects mom after going back to work, and some helpful tips on what to do about it! If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. And then a last piece of advice ask your mom to help you do the running around fixing things so that you can spend as much time as possible with your little girl. This is probably one of the most important things that helps to deal with working mom anxiety. Not all babies become this sensitive, and it does seem as if your daughter is feeling quite secure. Try "introducing the mouth to the bottle" rather than trying to get the baby to drink. Consider using an Supplemental Nursing System to supplement. I feel like she associates me with all things bad (i.e. that Im not the only one whos going through something like this. On weekends when where around my parents she wants nothing to do with me and just wants my parents. Now a days she refuses my breast feeding. Is it common that a baby rejects mom after going back to work? Can a baby NOT like their mom? I had to go back to work part time at 6weeks, but have been 100% available and loving and devoted every second I have free. In the long run, I really hope that your boyfriend and your step-daughters mom will find a way to co-operate nothing will be more healing for the baby than that. Try rocking gently whilst feeding. Ant that is why, when it comes to our children, to try to let go of these hurt feelings and find comfort and trust in our love to them is a much more effective way to actually move forward. Mom's Question: Instead allow yourself to really enjoy your time with your daughter. everyday i am in tears..cant work ..cant sleep..no peace. 4. Our job is then to not take it personally, not reinforce it by showing strong emotions, but simply allow our children to for some reason need one parent more than the other from time to time, It is painful, but it is normal development. It is a relationship that binds every human for their whole life. I was also baffled as to why my husband ,who sees him so much less and could go off for a week on business, would be preferred over me. I cant stop crying. She also wont let me give her the bedtime bottle- she screams- it has to be done by Daddy. When he was about 10 mos, I went back to work f/t. we got seperated when she was 17 months. Try to sit back and be proud of yourself! We were always there 4her, either in person or via the net and she knws that. The Reddit . My son is fine with me round anyone else. My partner has always spoilt her by carrying her around on his hip what seems like constantly, so when he comes in from work she is happy and smiley and wants him to cuddle her and pick her up and she wont even look my way! Choosing which wars to fight as a parent makes a big difference. I thought I was doing the best thing for myself and my daughter. Its the biggest deal imaginable to that baby. He pushes me away tells me not to tell him I love him. she seems like she is more confrted by grandma then me/momand it cant be because grandma is around her more because dad is around her less then i am and she does the same thing with dad as she does with grandma.she seems conferted by them and not me.so is it possible, she thinks grandma is mom??? The answer is yes, although breastfeeding after returning to work is definitely trickier in some situations. She is neither excited when I get home nor unhappy when I leave in the morning. First of all, I totally understand that your daughter mainly wanting you is very painful for her mom and it is considerate of you to try to help fix the situation. One is of course that it will bring baby and dad closer, which is probably not something you see as important right now, but in the long run, being close to both parent is optimal. But then I realized that I dont give that to each of my children every day at all. I play with, love and nurture my 17 month old boy but he doesnt seem to care about me. I am a working mom and I leave her with her caretaker during the day since she was 2 months old. Your girl is acting this way because she loves you and needs you, not the opposite! Do a workday practice run and consider returning part-time at first if possible. Hi me too but my baby is only 4 months old. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. If you are going back to work at 6 weeks, you could start introducing your baby to a bottle about two weeks beforehand. Here are five ways you can get ready to go back to work. She seems to want her father more and will only laugh at me. So I came online, and read this entire thread. These little fellows are learning that they are separate persons from mom, which they didnt know before and they find it very scary. 6. You need to try to get rid of this guilt in your heart! Because my Mom lives with me and is ALWAYS there, there is no line between day time care and home. If you try to make a young toddler behave properly (i.e. If I dont seek her out, we dont hear from her Ive often wondered what happened. I feel so down. I have only returned this week to work after 11 months off with my 11 month old baby girl. This is NOT just a phase. A couple of things helped: 1) we play her favorite music at very loud volume during the feeding to distract her, 2) we make sure to feed her before she gets very hungry so that she is still in a good mood, 3) we make sure my husband, the caregiver, always gives her the bottle, and 4) we keep trying at different times if she doesn't take the Because thats what is happening! she is three now. Any parent who has been there can relate to your pain. Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? No phone, no talking to your wife, no planning of the next day at work. Otherwise, you will reinforce her wishes to put distance between the two of you and her wish to go to the other person, where does not experience any bad emotions. When he was 4-6 mos, a friend was holding him and he didnt want to come back to me when I asked for him. What is wrong with me? Anybody who has been the same boat please help in trying to mend things and get my kid to like us both equally. What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. I thought ever child wanted their mommies especially when they arent feeling well. For the mom with low milk supply who is supplementing with bottles her baby may start refusing to breastfeed. Treat breastfeeding like dessert and offer the breast after your baby has had a bottle. I hope you've enjoyed today's post! in the morning when she wakes up, she doesnt even smile at me anymore. It is hard. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. I know it is hard and scary and painful after many months of being pregnant and then being everything for a child. Again research has shown that children who are picked up often, carried around if they ask for it, and so on, become secure enough to leave their parents arms faster than the children who are not allowed to be close to their parents. Take heart, dear parents. Cared for her, loved her, played with her, etc. She still prefers other people and doesnt seem to care for any of her own kin.not even her sister or brother, uncles, etc. there was even one night where she pushed me away and tried to crawl away when i got near. You asked me specifically about whether it would be a good idea if your daughters dad would do mroe of the boring stuff with your daugther and not just you. the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. Say he only listens to his dad and not me, not sure what to do , he is 7. 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