I know for sure that that moments are real. And they are right. Basically, she was a runner. She ran away from all her problems and responsibilities. I was devastated But, funny enough guess where he moved too? I even ready an article where it asked the partner of a narcissist, Are you sleep deprived? We victims should stick together and not pit males against females. Please don't contact me again. When i came home after two days. It also made me less valuable to her, I guess. These people do need to know they cant always get away with their cruelties. I think he keeps me going on daily basis but pain is enormous. Materially having accepted this offer makes no difference to me I will not see or have to talk with this person what it will change is the dynamic of limited contact when I go to the hills it fly my glider it is in this space I have hope, RIght now it all feels very strange the group of people who acted out or facilitated the abuse as I see it are. This is less consciously manipulative in narcissists who are non-malignant and non-cerebral, its more instinctive as though they believe that theyve made themselves vulnerable and you might attack, so they hide in fear of your attack. He even gave me advice and a shoulder to cry on when I was dealing with issues with my mom. This is a tricky one and maybe Kim could help you. So for four weeks, it was the first week I dont want you, next week he did, vice versa. We repress our instincts in hopes that things will improve, yet they only get worse over time. Rod thanks for your input. I have a protection order but he doesnt care. Similarly, why wife was not diagnosed when she attended for counselling to over come childhood trauma? I went from the frying pan to the fire!! I am so angry with him but dissapointed in myself! and the list could go on and on.. He made all my needs his priority. Walk away. If you have a domestic violence center, contact them and let them know youre being emotionally abused and manipulated and see if they can open a case for you based on the details of your situation. The red flags were there from the start. This gives them a great advantage over us. It drives humans to seek rewards and motivates them to act and live their lives in productive ways. For example, he could be a Narcissist and Borderline, too (or vice versa). Let your integrity speak for itself! And in my mind it feels like if he walks behind me or is somewhere els in the shop. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. I feel like an idiot now, but the penny only really dropped for me about 5 months ago, about who and what Cameron really was. So, having read on all these since 2009 so far, I concluded, THIS IS MY VERY SUBJECTIVE CONCLUSION, I WOULDNT TELL ANYONE TO TAKE THIS AT THE FACE VALUE.. all Cluster B disorders COME WITH NPD ANYWAY. Still hasn't happened. I was only with my ex for four months, continued being friends with her the next eight months, and I am still suffering psychological pain from the incident. The best place for us to start is to begin examining why we began to minimize the abuse and accept being mistreated. Three weeks ago, we had a huge fight, which turned physical. Reading this site has helped me get a little better handle on my feelings however. And yes, work on yourself and commit to attracting HEALTHY women in to your life! I miss your smile, your laugh, your beautiful curly hair in my face, everything! He was cruel the first week, he was just heartless. I guess the best lesson to the narcs out there, is that they are going to wither away completely unloved and alone, and the N survivors thrive. See, it was all a plan to slowly work his way back. But he never had negative comments about my looks, behaviour etc. ! they new evidence is enormous in quantity, that shows failed patients/victims, and failed psychologists in respect with victims, Narcs and themselves. This morning, searching for a response to my ex narcissistic unmarried baby father, whos dumped me and left me to rott is now, after 7 month posting me with calls and text messages using his daughter as a tool to keep me locked and unable to move forward I was convinced that walking away would somehow make her the winner (we were like rivals at one point). Love is not pain! Meditate twice daily for at least 15 minutes The thing that gives me a bad feeling is that in the meantime when he did not contact you he has a lot of fun and totaly forget about you. Im down to less than 100 pounds Im about to lose everything I got and he takes my fight to survive and I have to survive my kids mean more than anything and keeping their home and me being happy. She blocked me from social media and owes me $3,000, so the motive for her to stay away is pretty strong. Then again, she knows that I obsess about these things. He also seemed to get off on the attention he would receive on FB from him almost all female friends list. and they know exactly what they are doing they know right from wrong, good from bad Eden, in response to your question: I was responding to tiredofliars8 specifically (just in case you thought I was responding to you). Her voice sounded as though she never left high school. Hes like yah last few weeks Ive fantasized about it. My neighbor to this day believe he left me to die after being ain a every. I made a decision I was going to leave, gave him til the end of the week to reassure me he wasnt playing me, that we had a future or I have to go. Its also true no matter how the relationship ended. I have not seen my ex and he has not seen me since the breakup two months ago; Ive made it my business not to be where I think he would be. I said to see the kids? If you will just act like his friend for the sake of his image, then all will be well in his fake world. No do not accept him back. I feel i need him. I have since found out that all the abuse that she told me she had suffered at the hands of every man she had been in a relationship with was a complete lie to rope me in. This is only going to set you back again and from someone who did it twice, it is worse cuz they know youll take it and you end up so depressed and confused. He feels comfortable confiding in me and its like getting into the head of a Narc. Dear all, there is a lot to learn from all of you. Yeah, getting closure is tough, for sure. But basically Ive finally realize the only way for me to grow and live is to leave him. They dont know half of whats been going on. Just to demonstrate I am including a note from my ex too. Would I love to say that Im staying in my marriage because together we are working to improve things because he is not disordered, yes I would love to tell you that. He has got to go! Always playing the victim card. He came from a rough back ground and I tried to show him light in life, you know those movies when you see the guy or girl thats a player and is doing all these things and that one person comes along and changes their life and ways because they fall in love? Hey Martin Or dealing with the pain of loss/heartbreak. I was strong. The judge granted the RO because I psyclogically abused her after I found out about the affair. I do have him blocked. She would constantly leave me, make me beg, then come back promising me the world and how I was the love of her life she wanted to get married, have babies etc. Why you put up with it all. Im sure this has been a tough time for you, and it has been for me as well. He was trying to destroy me, and I fought back. I was too sick to get to police and didnt understand what was going on due to brain infection/surgery. I dont even know if you desire to changebut I brought it up because often when people are in emotional turmoil, thats what drives them to try to make these kinds of major changes in their lives about how they are interacting with the world. Seems to me it was a lie to keep the door open and to justify his sick advances. Angela we're not done. But he always had something nasty or condescending to say. They have gained absolutely nothing by doing this to us And he is holding on, believing I am the love of his life. Something I catch myself thinking, Maybe he isnt a narcissist? but then I remember his verbal abuse. A part of me is disgusted by him, and a part of me is fascinated by the mirroring and gas lighting. part of me doesnt want to do that because i want to see him coming in the event he tries something. The initial part maybe not so bad since I thought he meant what he said about saving our marriage. Good job! You wont hear anything else after that, the narcissist will leave you to think about it for a couple of weeks, then call you back demanding that you remain friends. BPD type 2 is the only one that may come without psychopathy However, if you decide to apply to your situation, please, please, dont just assume. I know I have to end it although it is easier said than done. keep tabs on me)? In personal relationships o began to recognize and see these traits, and slowly over some time, I gained enough experience and insight to walk away before they wove webs. I do miss the good times which were few but not the bad ones. I get it. I know i should not do that. And I have allowed it to go on for a very long time (can you say C-PSTD). I read somewhere if they agreed to help, it would take over 10 years to truly fix, but because they think they are God or better than everyone else, they dont continue the sessions and the cycle continues. You know what hell she put me through. Although the dad loved that dog more than anything, it was a threat to his family now and he had to get rid of it. For the next 6 weekends she disappeared, and each time id believe her story on where shed been. If you are truly the owner of this image, you should already be aware of it being hosted on their platform. Yet friends are telling me they have never seen him happier. Hugs and healing to you. Remember the reasons they picked YOU & it wasnt because you were weak. My story is a little different I THINK. I have been so confused by the 180 mine did going from you can come back any time despite being emotionally abusive every other interaction, to now acting like I have been so horrible to him he cant stand to be in a room with me even for our kids teacher conferences or IEP meetings. Finally, am I bringing hoovered? He went on to insult me by calling me crazy and delusional. We survivors are only a little LESS predictable in how we are slowly destroyed from within. Nothing could be further from the truth. He told the police that he is done whatever that means. Then new girl says I dont know him, he is happy now and she thinks she knows him better after 3 months than i did for 20 years. Heartbreaking isnt it? If he comes home, hell leave again and why would you want the demon back in your life anyway? They will convince others that you're the bad person. well I talked with a number of people about this universally they took the view that I needed to 2) accept it kind of placed me in a situation where their support was conditional on my taking this risk at this same time my current book began to mewes on similar lines I am reading: Summa Technologiae by Stanisaw Lem, https://silkred.files.wordpress.com/2015/01/10906319_10152736870728495_4971952455049889714_n.jpg, This quote and my friends advice took me to contact him and accept the offer, I have to say that I am feeling very emotionally released after this I feel very vulnerable but at this same time I am talking about a single person in a group of others so I gamble that ameliorating this tension being cautious remaining much more aware of what I now know will let me refocus on what I really miss which is the flying, I have not flown my glider for 6 months more last June I cannot fly without a lightness in my heart and so hope that this will gift that feeling too me such that I might once more find my feet missing this earth for a little while now and again its not really about him so much as about me and the light inside my heart thats been so dark during these times. At times the situation appears to so bizarre that it does not seem real. Ill have to look into. I am like the walking dead at the thought that I have destroyed me, my family, relatives, and friends. I f you think your ex is a narcissist, chances are they're probably not. Thanks. It makes me feel foolish for not seeing, or at least, accepting who he truly was from the start. But be aware of the specially predatory religious narcissist. [Read: The Real Narcissistic Abuse Cycle: Why You Cant Go No Contact]. My ex was with another woman last year who apparently was his best friend. Im in love with being your drug, your dagger, your suicide note. Reading your comment was as if I had written it myself. I'm afraid I'll forget her. Officially divorced for 16 months and I still think about her every day. Was devastated but, funny enough guess where he moved too destroyed from within she for... And commit to attracting HEALTHY women in to your life anyway fantasized it... 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